Tastes Like Chicken

Monday, April 25, 2005
_Word of the day: consanguineous

According to Merriam-Webster, it means "of the same blood or origin; specifically : descended from the same ancestor."

That's a cool word. Too bad about the cousin-fuckers in the article:
Andrews [him] collects disability payments from the government. Amrhein [her] works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart.

"I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking...

And don't ask her about eating groundhog. "It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale.
If I get a tough-guy skull-pattern do rag, can I live off government disability payments, too? Please?

Friday, March 25, 2005
_More Maps
Maryland ZIP Codes and roads
Maps showing both DC Metro Rail and Roads
Interactive Yahoo map showing Metro stations and roads in Northern Virginia (interactive, detailed)

Metro's Complete Surface Map for Northern Virginia (static, way busy)

DC region Highways overlayed with Metro lines and stations (missing a few DC and MD stations)

StationMasters Northern Virginia sample map (small, simplistic)
UPDATE: spiffy road / Metro station map built with Google Maps goodness!

Thursday, March 17, 2005
_ZIP Code Maps of Northern Virginia

I Suffer So You Don't Have To.

You would not believe what an amazing pain in the ass it is to track down ZIP code maps for northern Virginia, but I did it, because I need them to plug into real estate listing web sites. Those real estate web sites let you narrow searches by ZIP code, but they never show where the ZIP code actually falls on a map.

So I tracked down, and in some cases created, this complete set of zip code maps for all the counties of northern Virginia.

Start off with this map of the counties of northern Virginia to orient yourself. Arlington and Alexandria get a bit of the cold shoulder on that map, but if you look for them snuggled up against DC you'll find them.

To dispense a little cartographic justice, we'll start with the those two. Here is a map of ZIP codes in Arlington, VA (Arlington County, Virginia or Arlington, VA). That's a fantastically detailed 4 megabyte PDF file. If you parked your car in Arlington, it's probably marked on that. Keep looking.

Next is Alexandria, Virginia. Now these maps suck, but don't give me any crap about it. Nobody had a useful ZIP code map online for Alexandria, so I had to create both of these maps of ZIP Codes in Alexandria, VA (Alexandria City Virginia or Alexandria, Virginia). One started as an unlabeled teaser graphic on a county government site, and the other started as an illegibly labeled and crudely bordered EPA map output by a pollution tracking web applet.
UPDATE: The Washington Post has useful (but not ideal) ZIP code maps in their new real estate section. I've added their rendition to the above image.

Just beyond those two bodies lies Fairfax County. Here is a map of ZIP codes in Fairfax, VA (Fairfax County Virginia or Fairfax, Virginia). That's a PDF file with probably just the right amount of road detail to orient yourself.

To the south lies Prince William County. Here is a map of ZIP codes in Prince William, VA (Prince William County or Prince William, Virginia). That's a little busier than Fairfax's map, but not much.

And, finally, out to the west is Loudoun County. Here is a map of ZIP codes in Loudoun, VA (Loudoun County Virginia or Loudoun, Virginia). That's not quite as detailed as the Fairfax map, but it's pretty good.

Thursday, February 17, 2005
_Another puppy for lunch.

This one looks kind of resigned to it. And crunchy!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
_Puppies for lunch.

Gummy, but still tastes like chicken.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Monday, November 22, 2004
_Penny Arcade discusses the new Playstation game Metal Gear Solid 3:
"If you want to know what the game is like but you don’t want to buy it, here’s what you do. Go out into your backyard and lay down in the grass for fifteen hours. Every twenty minutes have a friend come out and step on your balls. That will give you a pretty good idea of what MGS 3 is like."

Friday, October 22, 2004
Part One: "Don't Shave Your Ass Hair!"

Part Two: "Bob The Anal Fissure"
Both are vessels of timeless wisdom, but I give the nod to Part Two as the standout.

Sunday, October 10, 2004
_Ron's First Goatse.jpg

That's Ron Jeremy's first reaction (SFW), caught in photos, to seeing the infamous Very Not Safe For Work goatse.cx. Oddly enough, goatse.cx no longer lives at goatse.cx.

That second link is so NSFW that it falls into the category of "Things You Can't Un-See."

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Monday, September 20, 2004
_Be the first on your block to own the Miss America Blowup Doll Collection.

Blatantly stolen from here.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Monday, June 28, 2004
_Photoshop contest with the potential to be a classic:
     Two characters by the same actor duking it out

Update: eh, just amusing.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Monday, May 17, 2004
_I really wasn't ready for this. Jesus, that sucks.

Sunday, May 09, 2004