Tastes Like Chicken

Saturday, August 10, 2002
_Enjoy the words: Ebert on Eastwood
Clint Eastwood looks more like Clint Eastwood than ever. The furnace of time has burned away everything that is not essential. He comes to Chicago for a lifetime achievement award and jokes about being 72, but he does not look young or old, only perfected.
Damn, that man can write.

I work with an amazing man, Doc, who's gotta be 75, and he is so damn sharp it still sneaks up on me sometimes, especially his writing. And he drives a convertible Mustang.

_A new contraceptive, and who might not want to use it
Another group of women who may want to avoid it are the "vagina-phobic," said Anita Nelson, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the UCLA School of Medicine. "Women who don't touch themselves 'down there' aren't going to find this to be an acceptable method," she said. "Education can help, but some women are just never going to feel that a vagina is a part of their bodies."
That's more than a little sad.

_Despair in Once-Proud Argentina
Until last year, Argentines were part of the richest, best-educated and most cultured nation in Latin America. Luciano Pavarotti still performed at the Teatro Colon. Buenos Aires cafe society thrived, with intellectuals debating passages from Jorge Luis Borges over croissants and espresso. The poor here lived with more dignity than their equals anywhere else in the region. Argentina was, as the Argentines liked to say, very civilized. Not anymore.

Parts of this once-proud society appear to have collapsed -- a cave-in so complete as to leave Argentines inhabiting a barely recognizable landscape.

The scent of blood, death and fresh meat filled the highway. Cows bellowed as they were sloppily diced by groups of men, women and children. Fights broke out for pieces of flesh in bloody tugs of war.

"I looked around at people dragging off cow legs, heads and organs, and I couldn't believe my eyes," said Alberto Banrel, 43, who worked on construction jobs until last January, when the bottom fell out of the economy after Argentina suffered the world's largest debt default ever and a massive currency devaluation.

"And yet there I was, with my own bloody knife and piece of meat," Banrel said. "I felt like we had become a pack of wild animals.

_Secrets to a happy marriage:
  1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
  2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
  3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
  4. It is vitally important that these three women never meet.
Stolen straight off of Gimboland.