Tastes Like Chicken

Friday, May 23, 2003

Thursday, May 22, 2003
_How technology says "Don't touch."
Highly charged clothing.
When charged, the jacket crackles audibly. A pair of slits in the outer lining shows the electric arcs that course across the entire middle layer. It's an impressive display of the jacket's power.

Whiton said the "really evil crackling sound" makes him flinch involuntarily: The shocks he received testing the jacket conditioned him to associate the sound with pain.

The No-Contact Jacket produces visible and audible electric arcs between two seams on the wearer's upper right shoulder. This visual indicator warns a possible assailant to keep away.
Of course, that title is a take the old Far Side cartoon updated over here.

So yeah, that jacket seems great, so long as nobody invents "gloves."

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

_Michael Jackson/Spiderman Lobbies for Taco Bell
Wearing Spider-Man Mask, Jackson Pops Into Congressman's Office
The costumed Jackson had a question for Steve Lavagnino, the deputy director in the new Solvang office of Congressman Elton Gallegly. Jackson asked: "How come Solvang doesn't have any fast food restaurants?"

After being told Solvang's only chain restaurant was a Subway sandwich shop, Jackson replied, "I love Taco Bell."

Jackson didn't know what kind of office he'd wandered into.

Jackson was seen later at Buellton's Taco Bell/Pizza Hut drive-through window.
Also, the Department of Redundancy Department presents: Strange smell forces Taco Bell evacuation.

Michael Jackson Hospitalized With Undisclosed Illness
"He has, in some occasions in the past, not eaten when he should," Oxman said.